Snapchat: Forged in the very depths of hell.
1. People on Snapchat don’t even have any respect for baby Jesus!
2. They couldn’t care less if their snaps give you a heart attack.
3. And they mix tenderness with horror in the most upsetting ways possible.
4. Snapchat’s not even a very good app. Look at this abomination!
5. And if it encourages behavior like this, you know it can’t be good.
6. Subtle, terrifying apparitions like this can only be the work of the devil.
7. Who else has the power to bring inanimate objects to life besides Satan himself?
8. And who else encourages dogs to explore their sexuality?
9. Cats too.
10. And, oh god, Fox News correspondents.
11. The power of Christ compels you, devil Snapchat!
12. Or when your pet turns into Falcor from The Neverending Story, but even creepier.
13. Snapchat places nipples where they shouldn’t be.
14. Snapchat makes you feel like somebody is watching you.
15. Snapchat will even make you stop loving your own children if you use it enough.
16. Snapchat turns us all into animals.
17. The devil lives in our phones, and its name is Snapchat.